Playground Issues: 1. Conflict Resolution 2. Bullying

Playground Issue 1: Conflict Resolution

Students often come into conflict with each other over small or large issues during recess.

When a problem arises, students can resolve the problem themselves, remembering that there are both acceptable and unacceptable ways to do this. We hope that you will use the following advice to find an acceptable solution.

Remember that the best solutions are ones which satisfy all parties - a Win-Win solution.

If these suggestions do not work for you, please find the playground supervisor or other adult to help.

Try this:

• STOP and take a deep breath.
• THINK of OPTIONS.
• Make a good CHOICE.

Here are some options to use:

• Share and take turns
• Walk away
• Ignore
• Tell them to stop
• Apologize
• Take a break – wait and cool off
• Talk it out
• Make a deal
• Compromise
• Go to another game
• Laugh it off
• Luck - toss a coin
• Wait for another turn
• Be generous
• Forgive

While problem solving, each student should:

• Listen.
• Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
• Respect the other person’s position.

Playground Issue 2: Bullying

The bully knows that his or her behavior causes distress.
The bully enjoys the victim's reaction so the bullying continues and escalates.
Bullies hurt others in order to feel strong and powerful at a given moment.

Bullying behavior:

Physical and Verbal harassment:

• Repeated Teasing
• Repeated Taunting
• Repeated Threatening
• Repeated Hitting

Social harassment:

• Whispering secrets
• Spreading rumors
• Deliberately excluding others

What can children do if they are bullied or see bullying behavior?

If you are a victim, get help from an adult.
Reporting a bullying incident is not tattling. The purpose of tattling is to get someone else into trouble. The purpose of reporting a bullying incident is to get help. Remember that both you and the bully need help.

If you witness a bullying incident, there are many things you can do.
It is important that you do something.
The bystander in a bullying incident is the person most able to effectively diffuse the situation. Bystanders make or break bullying episodes.

Here are some suggestions:

• Intervene by speaking up for the victim or simply by standing with the victim and letting the bully know that you support the victim.
  This requires a great deal of courage. If there is physical aggression, this may not always be a safe alternative.
• Enlist an adult immediately if someone is in danger of getting hurt.
• Don't watch. If you feel you can't intervene, walk away. Having an audience helps the bully. Don’t help the bully.
• Don't react emotionally with laughter or even a nervous giggle or snicker.
• Combat the rumor mill with the truth about a victim. Squelch the rumor. You can stop the effectiveness of the social bully by refusing to spread the rumor or by telling the truth.
• Offer your support and friendship to the victim afterwards. You can offer comfort to the victim and thus take away the power of the bully by being a friend.
• Report the incident, time, and place to a teacher, counselor, school nurse, or administrator. Remember this is not tattling. The purpose of tattling is solely to get someone into trouble. The purpose of reporting is to help the victim (and yes, even the bully because the bully needs help too) and to help to prevent bullying from escalating.

Modified and excerpted from National PTA's Our Children magazine, October and November/December 2003 issues.